This week has felt like a Really Long Week. It felt like that way because of the classes being cancelled for 2 days straight. I still kind of wished it was 3 days. In fact Wednesdays always happen to be my worst days because of the classes all bunched up for the whole entire day. I had to be late to my class that day because I slept in and forgot to set the alarm. But it was all good. She moved the test to be Wednesday instead which means I'll have a bit more time to study. UGH I don't know how I'll do. But at least on Wednesday I ended up scoring a good 86 on the Bible Exam which is 20 points higher than my last one. But I have to do better in Bible than I thought. It isn't such a great grade at all which is not very good. I really need to pass the class. Another thought was that my Major is really getting switched from Music to Social Work. I will still be Minoring in Music though because I still enjoy playing it no matter what. The reason I switched was because of a calling from God to do so as I had prayed about it for a while.

Many towns still don't even have power back in New Jersey at all. It is probably really miserable for most of them because of no power and no heat. The reason it happened was because of tons of fallen trees that fell down and hit the power lines. Turns out there has been a lot of gas stations with long lines of cars waiting to get gas. It must really suck with all the long lines getting there and even people wanting to buy gas to fill up their own cars. Man it really does suck and lots in South Jersey have it way worse than North Jersey. Lots of houses are destroyed and worst off Seaside Heights and Wildwood are all gone for real. But I have heard news that we are going to try to rebuild it for good as soon as they can and it will definitely be a good thing because then we can go and enjoy it. Back up where my family lives they are still out of power. Meanwhile it is all slowly getting back so now I am hoping that my family gets power back as soon as they can. Some people have even been driving to Pennsylvania for gas due to impatience. Wires are still getting fixed by the power companies. This better change as soon as it can.

The past few days have been a rough one for New Jersey, New York, and Pennsylvania. There is a Hurricane called Hurricane Sandy coming in and around. I still remember the days of the Hurricanes back then like Hurricane Irene and Hurricane Katrina. It is always a devastation whenever this happens. There has been power loses going on in other places. Back in my hometown of Parsippany, New Jersey it has been without power since yesterday morning. The one thing that my mom and the friends at home are living on is just surviving on their own. They just use candles and flashlights to get to the different spots of the house. Boy am I glad we don't live in a Colonial house otherwise it would be terribly bad for them. Our house has a brook behind it but luckily we have to go and walk down a long hill in order for us to get there. I sure am glad that river is NOT rising up otherwise it would definitely flood our entire street which wouldn't be good at all. I remember last year Lower Lk. Hiawatha all had most of their homes destroyed due to the flood and you were able to canoe out there and it was very devastating for most residents.

Here at Messiah yesterday we had classes cancelled for the whole day. I remember learning about it on late Sunday Night at about 9:30 pm. We were all waiting all day Sunday to see whether the classes would even get cancelled or not. It was a weird one on us because all the other Colleges were having their classes cancelled completely for 2 days straight while ours were still making a decision. I was desperate in finding out and hoping it would be cancelled. Then suddenly about 9:30 pm I heard screams of YEAH! from my floor. I wondered what was going on then one minute later I receive a text that states that Classes were Cancelled for good! That moment I Screamed at the top of my lungs and ran out to celebrate with the floor. After that I went more crazy and ran to the floor connected to my floor where my friends were and ran down the hall screaming crazily. It was hilarious and awesome even though some people on that floor were idiots thinking I was only joking when IT WAS REAL! But yes I got to stay up that night and go to bed a bit late. On the positive note I was surprisingly already done with just about all of my work and could relax. So I spent most of yesterday relaxing for a really good amount of the day. I studied a bit for Bible but theres more work so I'll be spending today doing it I guess LOL!

Now I learned that Jersey Shore has flooded and now all the streets are literally flooded for good. Wildwood, Seaside Heights, Atlantic City, Cape May, and Sandy Hook are basically all gone. It looks as if it is devastating and sad because it was once there and I had been there back when I was younger. In fact I was at Wildwood for Prom Weekend and at Seaside Heights this past Summer for a fun High School Reunion drinking and hanging out. Now I just can't believe the boardwalk is flooded according to the pictures I saw. Even New York City is flooded and I don't know what will happen with it all. Seven years ago Hurricane Katrina devastated Louisiana and now it devastates New Jersey. I still don't understand why some people down in South Jersey/Jersey Shore wouldn't evacuate at all and some are stupid to go to the Shelters like what the AC Mayor says. But Rest In Peace to Jersey Shore I'll miss you a ton!

No Classes Tomorrow WHOO-HOO YEAHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a great way to end the weekend Lol! Well after going buckwild I lost my voice ugh. But yes it has been an okay weekend. I spent most of it sleeping in and working on homework and studying and working at Lottie to make some good money. I now know what I will do with myself next semester when I work at Lottie. I will work another time and another shift instead of the Dishroom because it is just so dirty and smelly in there. No wonder I smell really bad when I work there. I  also get wet and in fact I got really all wet yesterday. It is the grossest place I worked and now I do wish the semester could be over so I could work in another part in fact a new time instead of on the weekends. It really does take up a lot of free time.

I really can't believe that Hurricane Sandy is really striking us hard now. It took Messiah All Day Long to find out whether they would cancel classes tomorrow or not. After a long day of deliberating they finally decided to cancel classes for tomorrow. The minute I saw it on Facebook and the minute Messiah texted me our whole floor was going crazy. I had no idea until a few seconds after them and we were surely happy to see that it had been cancelled. I then ran out into the hallways and celebrated with them for a while. Afterwards I went onto the floor right around the corner from me and Screamed at the top of my lungs while running down the hall. My friend Pete happened to be in a room in that hall and walked out to see what was going on. He saw me and I ran to him and hugged him screaming and spazzing out. Nic, Zak, Nick, Jon, and Flick were just laughing so hard as I was just spazzing out badly about it being cancelled at last. Whoo-Hoo! What a good way to end the weekend now time for sleeping in like a retired man in his 60s no longer working and having to get up early for his work :)!

Sophomore Year in College is much different than Freshman Year. You get dorms that seem to be closer to your classes. Then Junior and Senior Year you get apartments. You live in those and its where you don't get meal plans and cook for yourself. Schedule is too busy sometimes which sadly makes me unable to write blogs and such. Just have to learn a lot of time management. Worst off there isn't always time to exercise. Gotta try to lose some more weight and hopefully get to normal shape. I have been taking challenging courses and they weigh down lots of time. Perhaps I shall deactivate Facebook by tomorrow due to wanting to save time. I have to somehow start doing some real work instead of sitting around all the time. Its no good.

My good friend Hector Umana from who went to PHS with me is going to be leaving for the army soon. I knew him since 2007 when he was sitting at the table next to me. I switched Lunch Tables back and forth with the Seniors of PHS '08 and my own class. He was with some of the awesome people that was next to us. Favorite memories were when him and I had hit up parties Summer of 2010 and of course the good old LH Parking Lots of Dunkin. Last time I saw you we were down the shore and having a great time. It was High School Reunion Down The Shore! Haha man I will miss you a lot. Hope I can see you whenever you come back! 

Wow so I've been back at College for a bit over a week. There have been a ton of things going on here though. I have been having tons of classes. Surprisingly I wasn't so smart with my choices. I was bunching up a ton of my classes together. Now I have Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays all packed up with classes and only 1 hour to eat Lunch in between. Not so fun but I just have to do what I need to do though lol. No complaints because thats what it might be like in the near future when I start my job in a few years. I better find out what I am going to do with my life. I think of contributing more to Messiah College as getting involved in some things. As a Music Major I might just try to get involved in more Music Events.

There have been many things I realized here at College. I just keep on changing so much and now it is surprisingly different. I don't see half of the friends I used to see so often last year. Everyone has different schedules as I have different schedules from everyone too. It is tough sometimes to manage but I think I got it in control. I was just really sick recently and it was hard for me to function and make time for things. But because I was sick it was a problem for me to get to do some work as I had to lie in bed a lot. Now that I am better I have to somehow get myself to go and catchup with some work. But what is cool is that I have a bike on campus. I even got myself a good Bike Lock which is a great thing for me. It helps me get to all my places faster. Well I should go on and do something for myself before time goes on and runs out. Will write more about College later...

Where the heck is Summer going?! Man its already mid-August. I can't believe the summer has gone by too fast. But anyways I leave for school soon which means going back to College life. I kind of don't really want to go back yet because I love my town and I love my friends back here at home too. But there comes to being a time where we have to all move on and leave things behind. It will always be around here for us to go to I guess. But yes I will have to go on back to school soon. It should be fun. But rest assured I know that I won't be a little kiddy going into school anymore like I was last year. Man it really will feel different. I plan to work harder this year and hopefully get all my grades up. It requires a lot of studying I have to do. No time to waste or fool around. Like what people would say you go to School to Learn not play around. Hope this year goes well.

July is now coming to an end. It feels like summer is really going by fast. There is just so much going on at the moment. Sometimes it feels like I wasted some time doing nothing but I still had my good times. Now its going to be August tomorrow. Ugh I can't believe that now I am going to have to go on to the next month. But before I talk about it there's a whole lot of memories in July that I wish to talk about.

I went down the shore about a week ago to be with my friends. Yes it was a great High School reunion down the shore. I hope that our 10 year High School Reunion gets held down the shore too. I had a lot of fun reuniting with the friends I seldom see anymore because of how we are getting on the very top of our lives. But overall it was a blast down there. I must tell all about it from the start because it is still fresh in my memory.

July 20- This was the day I was planning to ask my girl out but heartbrokened that she had dumped me. Oh well but anyways I travelled down the shore from Parsippany to Seaside Heights. I had been stuck in traffic for quite a while so it ended up taking me 3 hours to get down there. But I didn't really care because as long as I was going to be down there to see all my friends again thats what really mattered to me the most. I had to pay for parking down there and after I entered my friend's shore house I was relieved and partying with them all. I drank some that night and it was an okay feeling. I even went out for a walk when the house was getting really crowded and spent some time for myself. After the partying ended at about 3:30 am my friends pulled out a sofa bed for me to sleep in and I appreciated that part. I had a lot of fun for the first night but it tired me out and I was happy to be able to sleep for probably a few hours. I even acted out the best scene from A Cinderella Story which was a pretty funny one.

July 21- I woke up that morning at about 9 am because I needed to move my car to somewhere else by 10 am otherwise I would get it towed by owner's expense. I am glad I moved it out before any trouble was going to start otherwise I would've been screwed badly. But that morning everyone else woke up at a really late time. We all only slept less than 5 hours. We spent most of the time hanging around the house. I went to the boardwalk and stayed there for a while and walked back. I was in a lot of back pain that day and good thing we cleaned everything up that day. It was many hours before the night party was going to start. We were bbqing burgers and hot dogs and I ate a burger and it was good. Then after that we all went upstairs to hang out and afterwards we all fell asleep for quite a while. I took some pill to fix up my back and my back healed within 3 hours. It felt so much better and that night we partied and It was on. A lot of people were going to come in that night. I was around and enjoying myself but I missed home so I called home to see what was going on. It turned out my mom was having fun herself having been with friends. No wonder when I called home she didn't pick up. But that night I drank despite how I was missing home a lot. I had 2 shots of vodka and later on I chugged half a can of beer in front of everyone. After that I was really drunk and I couldn't function quite well at all. I couldn't even remember a conversation I had with a person. But luckily I was going to stay overnight that night because I wouldn't want to risk it trying to drive home all drunk otherwise I would have to be pulled over because of DWI or DUI. My mom wouldn't have wanted to drive down to rescue me at all. I stayed overnight again after the party was over and also packed quite a bit.

July 22- I woke up pretty early again because I had to move my car out of the parking lots by 10 am. I moved it to a parking spot where I had to throw quarters in. It was okay for me because I needed one. I moved some stuff to my car and hung out with everyone for a last time. They also had to paint the walls because of punching some walls broken. I chilled with everyone and acted out A Cinderella Story Scene to them then went to the boardwalk to get something to eat. After a while of hanging out we cleaned up and I packed up and it was time for me to go home so I said goodbye to them. But I didn't exactly go home yet because I wanted to explore Seaside Heights for a little bit. After a few minutes of exploring the good old Seaside I finally decided I would drive on home. It was a great time at Seaside and the scenery was beautiful as I loved it. Driving home was relaxing but I stopped at 2 rest stops due to being really tired. Then when I got home I was happy to be back again despite being so tired. Best time I ever had down there. I hope we go H-A-M again next year.

Man its July and still I barely update my blog. It is nearing the end of summer and yet I am still sitting around. But anyways there are a lot of things coming about at me. I just want to get through life and have unwanted thoughts get out. Its probably the reason why. But like what my friend had said I have control of my mind so I need to use it well. I need some time to just get through my life. I have the power to control myself and I know I can do it. I just have to seek some treatment for myself which will be good for me. I hope these thoughts can actually get out if I do my ways.

Well next post I have a whole ton of things to talk about. The summer is surely going by fast. It is much faster than I expected yet i already completed lots of things. Except for the fact that I don't have a job for the summer which really isn't good. I hopefully will be doing something soon because I want to be out of the house to interact with other people. It is much better if you have a resume showing you did things during the summers. I obviously want a job in the future get married and everything. But first off I need to have my life skills all done before I go on with that. What is shocking for me is that I haven't got to go to some places I wanted to go to yet. Hopefully it all happens soon as I can before I leave to go back to school. I love being with friends in both College and High School. Just going to be wanting to see them all again.

Man its been 2 weeks and no updates for such a long while. I figured i should definitely put something up. Well anyways July so far had its ups and downs. I have to get over some stupid thoughts that keep coming into my mind. The beginning of the month had started really well actually. We had gone on some good wonderful lasting long term memoried vacations. The first time I have gone on one with my family. Although it wasn't all of us I still had a great time. I was in Philadelphia for the Fourth of July days. This year was completely different from the years before because this year I wasn't biking through town.

Philadelphia Day 1 we drove over into Philadelphia from New Jersey where we had a ton of fun. We drove around taking a look and talking about memories all the way from our house to Philly. Then eventually we had more than a ton of fun going on from there. While at Philly we ate at the restaurant across the street from UPenn. Then we saw the Messiah College Philly Campus which was an awesome one because it was just in the city. But it is quite a distance from UPenn though. Maybe I'll go there in the future for classes. We later went to our hotel to rest up for a while before going on out to King of Prussia Mall which we went to shop and walk around and eat there. After all that we were very tired and went back to our comfortable hotel to sleep.

The next day we went off to explore around town and went to Eastern University. There it brought back quite a good amount of good memories for me as I was there for retreats. It wasn't such a big campus and I remember I was going to apply there some years back but I ended up not doing it because my dad wouldn't allow me to for personal reasons. After a while we drove on and we saw Villanova University which was surprisingly not too far from Eastern. It was also a great campus too. Later we returned to Philadelphia and attended a street fair which was quite a blast because of the fun that we were having despite how it was so hot. After staying there for about 3 hours we headed home and yes we were pretty tired. But overall it was a great trip. Now the past 2 weeks I've been just sitting around and chilling and working out a whole lot. Hopefully I can lose more weight by the end of this summer. I can't wait for more to come and I can't wait to see more of my friends again.

June has gone by fast. I was able to get through the rough week with a whole lot of things going on. Other than the car being gone I was fixing up stuff around the house. I had been spending more time doing some things that I haven't really been doing. I read a book and even read the Bible first time in a long time. I often feel that I want to get back into the Christian Life because I still go in and out with that here and there and even now. I struggle with my faith in God sometimes and sure do wish to get back on track.

I read a book called Victory Over The Darkness and it sure does have a lot of things that I can think of in my life. I honestly read a few parts that surprisingly relate to what I go through in my life. Thank God for this slow week that I was able to try to get my head together and focus more on Him instead of my own things. I don't know what my summer will look like but I hope that things get in place for real. I have my struggles still in not being able to get over the past. Now I just read through Bible passages and try to look to the future. Sometimes I think that it might even be time for me to grow up as soon as possible. It is better to try to grow up now than just be a bum. I also gotta try to find a job so that I can try to have something to do. I sometimes wish that last summer was better but I don't know what I can do anymore with my things. Oh well time to keep moving on with life.

Happy Birthday to my Mother! Wow you've really gone through a lot this year but I am glad you and I both made it through. This year had involved lots of cars that life had threw at us. From Me going to College and being away from home, Funerals, Classes, Grades, and many more Challenges. Yet you decided you were going to face it no matter what. I Love you for being patient, loving, and caring all the time for all of the family. It was great hanging out with you today. Despite how it was different this year I will still keep this in memory.

Sometimes I wonder what it will be like for me in the future. I think of myself and whoever I am going to marry to being parents of children. It is surely a lot of responsibility but I sure am willing to take it all no matter the cause. I know that even if life throws a ton of things at us we won't walk out of the relationship at all. It will not be an option as we should face challenges. Even if a screwover like the school psychologist guy comes back and tries to ruin us that will Not affect us at all. Life will always have challenges and throw a ton of unwanted things at us that we will need to face. Running away is always the worst option because it shows you will never get things done. A responsible person would face it all. A devoted person would be loving and caring. That's what I have learned a lot these past few years. Hope I can be that person one day in a few years from now.

Lots of times it is better to not dwell on the past. Like what people have told me "If you keep dwelling on the past it will just torture you for the rest of your life!" Times have been like that and I will have to try to move on. I think of when I was being really considerate to the family this past weekend. We had chose to get rid of my car instead of my dad's old car. We had really reasonable reasons to get rid of mine as it was also old and beat up at 99k miles. I really wanted to tear when I saw it go out of our driveway. I had thought of all the good times I had with it no matter what. Like driving it through the good old streets of Lk. Hiawatha, to Parsippany High School, and even to Prom Weekend which was an awesome time. Oh well like what it is it must come and go as life moves on. I hope I can make new memories in the new car I drive. That would surely be amazing after all like what people say!

So to lose something and to gain something. Yesterday my life changed for the good and bad for me. I had to do the unexpected and as usual unexpected things happen in everyone's life which is always a challenge. We ended up selling my Toyota Camry yesterday and it was gone for good. But it was for the good for my family. Like what people had said I am just too attached to it. Chris Ottesen had stated "Sam, I barely even remember the last thing I did with my beatup car. It blew up on me and such in the end and I got rid of that. Think of the good memories and don't focus on the bad ones. You had good memories in that car and you'll have more new memories in your next cars." I started to think maybe I have to stop dwelling on the past so much and life just keeps on going on no matter what happens. I wish I could have done this, I wish I could have done that... All are just thoughts of regrets and which I learned could drive people crazily insane.

It is terribly hard for me at first because I had drove the car for about 2 years but now it is about time that I have to move on. I had chose to do a few things I didn't want to do which was caring for the family. I chose to give in and agree to sell the car because it was all in case of anything that could happen later on. It sucks for me but oh well. Now I'll just be driving my mother's car which is a good thing because I still have a car that I can drive. I think of the car a lot alongside some junky. Its not so great of a thought and I've really been in some emotional stress. The least I could do is read God's Word which I haven't in a long while. I am not sure how things will work out but I'll just have to rely on God a whole lot more then just handling things myself. How else will I be able to do it now? If anyone is reading this please keep me in your prayers and pray that I can get through tons of emotional stresses and I will pray for myself as well.

Summer Session sure is coming to an end. But first off I want to say that June was great despite some ups and downs. I had a fun filled weekend reuniting and catching up with friends that I seldom see no more. Saturday Night was the Michael Ryan Cofone Benefit Show in which I was there. It was a night of fun but so much craziness that happened. But overall it was a blast and I had a great time there listening and watching crazy bands perform and watching the crowd go wild. Even though most people there had graduated from Parsippany High School in the many years before me I didn't seem to care too much about it. Michael Cofone was a graduate of Parsippany High School in 2005 and passed away a few months ago this year. I had met him just once in Lk. Hiawatha. Even after that I saw him driving someplace in town too. Surprisingly lots of people knew him and more and more had crowded up Elks Lodge in Boonton which was quite a good amount as most of that crowd attended his Funeral Service. I can't believe they had crowded up in the same exact place where my Father's wake was held. Must have been lots of people who loved Mike a lot even though he was so much older than most of us.

The Benefit Show taught all of us lessons. But at the same time My heart ached for his family and his friends as they had gone through a loss of a truly loved one. It was sudden like how it was for my father who had suddenly passed away back in November. This is something that my family has still not recovered from even though Father's Day and Holidays have all passed by. Losing someone so young is a really big thing on everyone especially if you were close to them. One song that hit me at the show was Corey's song which was dedicated to Mike. The words that hit me is here, "but instead that's what he did he sat us down our feet on the ground i'll listen now, i'll slow down" Surely teaches all of us in town something that we will get for the rest of our lives even though its not easy that a close one had passed away. I know that I would be there for people if they had lost a loved one or a close friend as it had happened to me which still hurts me every here and there. Rest In Peace to my good Dad and Mike Cofone. Hope all is going well up there in Heaven as it is much better up there than down here :).

Wow one month surely flew by fast. A month ago I was at Messiah and now Summer Classes for Math is halfway done! Time sure does fly by fast. But worst off my car is broken and is now sitting at the repair shop which is really annoying for me because I am carless for the weekend. But oh well, I guess I'll do whatever I want to do. I have more than enough I need to do which includes studying for Math Exams which could help me out a lot. As the class goes on it all gets tougher.

Summer has been going quite well and had its ups and downs here and there. Last week Friday Night I finally reunited with some old friends I haven't seen in literally 2 years. Its all because we had been moving on with our lives after High School and working so hard that we generally lost touch. But it was surely great to get together with them all again. I had basically been really friendly with the majority of them even though we were all over the place. I am about 3-1/2 hours away from town which makes it difficult to be in touch with people all the time. Especially since I keep on deactivating Facebook in order to concentrate on my work. I might need to do that when the school year starts.

As people tell me I will eventually lose contact with the High School Friends. It is tough for me to understand now since its only been a year since I graduated from High School. Someitmes people tell me that you go to College and make new friends and then you forget your old ones. That is not something that I would believe in. I believe that you keep those memories inside of you no matter what and the ones whom You care about and the ones that Actually care about You are the ones you keep in contact with. I hope that this Summer I can reunite with a lot more friends that I seldom see anymore. Many events will hopefully happen this summer in where there can be reunions or I should go to some awesome concerts. Hope things can actually happen this summer :)!

So much in this summer going on. I am living back here at home and feeling like wow its still the same. I have been doing so much Math and what really annoys me is that I don't really see people I just want to see. Man I always have such a bad feeling about this summer. Last summer was when our town had started to get really beat and there wasn't much to do. I just hope there will be more to do this summer. Sometimes I feel like some people I just don't want to see at all are walking back into my life. I don't understand why. It might make things bad for myself. Oh well I'll just have to brace myself for anything.

I have been trying to keep myself busy as heck even though it feels like there is still school for me. Well its easy going since its only 2 hours a day and I get to have class only 4 days a week. I hope that I do well and hopefully when the grade transfers I get a higher GPA then what it is right now. Life will keep going on and on. I really just want to start a bit more of summer already. What sucks up is that its taking a long while. But my most favorite place now is probably the Mall where I hope I can get that job. There has to be something for me to do this summer and I am hoping there will be more.

As much as I keep thinking of life moving on forward, something has been coming in my mind. I have the thought that this summer may be one of the last summers I see my PHS '11ers. I sure had a lot of good times with them and I am sure a majority of the friends I have among that crowd will be able to come to my wedding in the near future. And No I will not separate from them as much as people tell me to. I just think its better that I make my own choices and hang out with them as much as I can. I do feel they came into my life for a good reason and as a result I don't want them to leave just yet. That one group I was with was like family to me. Despite how it is just a bummer that were all spread out I don't want to lose family. I sure do know that I still want to keep friends even though I want to have some relationship with someone. It is always a good choice as taught to divide time well between your friends and the soulmate. I hope that I can do well with that as time goes by.

So my Summer has been quite a bit productive somehow boring here and there. I just need to find some stuff to do. I have been going to my Local Community College to take a Math Class there so I won't have to take it at my College. Hopefully the Credits transferred over can give me a boost in my low GPA. I sure do need it to raise to a 3.0 otherwise it won't be good. I have been stressing out about how I have really low grades. Worst off not qualifying for Teacher Education Program which kind of makes me have to change some roads. I have to hopefully get my life together in some ways aside from education. My plan will be work harder and hit a 3.0 by the end of Fall 2012 Semester and later on get this GPA to keep on raising higher and higher. I know that if people can get there GPA's to be a 3.5 or 3.6 improving from a low 3.0 then I CAN DO IT! Just need to try harder.

I've gone off to the Gym recently to workout and start exercising for the good of myself. Hopefully I will be able to start my weight loss from 158 lbs back down to where I was in January before I started the whole weight gaining. It isn't always a good feeling to be so fat at all. Life here at home has been quite well having ups and downs. I still feel like I live a bit of the same life coming back home like it was in the years I was here at home. Town being Shady and often staying at my house and not going out too much. But this Memorial Day Weekend I shall be going out more. If I could go out then I could feel so free again like I was before. It is just annoying being at home all day everyday. Jobs seem to be hard to find too especially since they don't always reply back to you. I've turned applications into a couple of places though but anyways anywhere I get accepted I will go. I rather just get out a bit more and hang out. Maybe I'll be able to see more friends of mine later.

Wow, Freshman Year here at College sure is over already. Today was my last Final. I don't know how I did but whatever it is I might just leave it all up to God. I don't know what my life will be like after this. I might just be paranoid about things but that is what I am like sometimes. I have put a ton of stresses on myself and its not really a good thing. I noticed recently about how it really affects me and my health and sometimes I keep thinking I might die. Its really not a good thing because of how sometimes people do things last minute and thats what I actually do. I hope that I can pass Music Theory for good.

Today was a bittersweet hot day. I had been around and saw many people leave to go back home. Many had checked out and they have left but I am still here. Lottie seemed pretty empty too due to the fact that there weren't too many people no more. But the day was still good. I rode my bike all the way from Messiah to Weis Supermarkets to buy some things. I made a lousy first trip there because I rode there without any money on me. Therefore, I had to turn back and ride all the way to Messiah again and that would wear me out quite a bit. But it was overall one of the good rides I had though. I got to bike all the way back and bought treats one for a friend who let me use his bike all Semester Long and another friend whos helped me out all year long even in Music Theory. It was a challenging year but I am glad it is coming to an end. It feels like its quite empty tonight with so many people gone and moved out. It sure is a beat night and will kind of be till the end of the year. I can't wait to go home now but I am worried about my grades. Lets pray it all works out well in the end.

Well tomorrow is my 20th birthday. I have a lot of thoughts inside of my mind. Usually on people's birthdays they say to make a wish. Here at College because I live on the Sparta Floor we Yellow Breeches Creek other people in. That means we throw them into the water. But this year my wish seems to be different. I have been through enormous amounts of thoughts and trials here. Luckily its not bad like it was last Semester. It is just that I am going to be learning and working harder than ever.

So following up on my last post I had mentioned about my laptop. Things seem to be worse and its causing me some stresses but in the long run it could be for the good of myself. Well IT Service on campus had called today and told me that my laptop wasn't working well. The cause was the motherboard that had been damaged in some ways. It is going to be shipped out and get fixed which means I'll have to be going to the Library a whole lot more than ever. But at the same time I get thoughts that I can focus more on my work. It seems as though so many things are happening because of my errors. But honestly, sometimes I am thinking that God showing me in some ways that I have to Learn to take control of my Own things and be More Responsible. He might also want me to concentrate more on my work. I haven't really been doing well in one of my classes and it could be at the most critical point if I keep sitting in front of my computer and not avoiding all temptations.

In College which I learned from the very start is that you are here to learn and work hard. I used to always think that it is freedom being away from home and your family. But its really a whole lot more than being away. Its to train you to be independent and work on things all by yourself. Here a lot of people work really hard to have good grades for the good of themselves in the future. It shows me that I should do it too. Life isn't always going to be as easy as I think I am. Now that I am going to be 20 people will seem to expect more out of me. I will definitely face a lot more challenges and my life could get changed forever. Whatever everything is like right now I guess I should just leave it all up to God. He will make all things work together for My Good.

Hey Everyone, I am surprisingly updating this Blog even though it was only 1 day after I updated it yesterday or you can say it the good way 2 days before I turn 20. That means I'll be living in the world for 2 decades already. I am surely learning more about the grown up stage. Glad I was learning about it back in High School starting from about the middle of Junior Year. At that time I had been learning how to get out of the whole self-centered stage but I am glad I got out of it and grew up a whole lot more. Even here at College I have grown up. But recently I had some stresses getting to me that I thought of writing about.

I had wrote yesterday on my Facebook saying "When some things don't seem to work such as computer stuff and other things God might be telling me to focus on whats more important and critical for my life." It feels to me that I should take control of my life. Well anyways I started to really have stresses when I wasn't doing well in a class. I have been working hard in maintaining my schedule and getting things done but not working hard enough at all. There had been a CCC Paper that I had to write that I hadn't gotten started on and worst off I wasn't doing well in Music Theory. I wasn't doing anything and being a real lazy bum. I was thinking that I don't want to get kicked out of College if I just fail a class and pass all others. But classes will keep getting tougher as College goes on. What really affected me a lot was that Sunday Night my Laptop wouldn't start up while I was researching on my notes for a class. Things got worse and the next day I brought my Laptop over to IT Services. They said that they were going to get back to me as soon as they had fixed it but till today I haven't heard word about it being fixed.

Not having a laptop does hit me a lot as I have to travel across campus with my bike to get to the library to get things done. But I realized that I had accomplished a lot in my academic work. I was getting a lot more done without my laptop such as the CCC Paper in which I already typed up more than half. I was also getting work done for Theory and my other classes that I have to work on. I had honestly gone onto Facebook way too much and like I was a few years ago being stupid and falling in for a ton of drama. And Yes, I blocked a couple of people whom I had enough of for good. Like what a few friends back at home had told me "You need to be yourself and NOT worry about what other people are like because you are NOT other people." I do agree that I am NOT everyone. I am glad I always chose to live the life myself not caring how late I was staying out and finding my own things to do. I feel like I am some how getting back on track and getting to where I am supposed to be. It feels complicated sometimes but it is really for the better. Needless to say maybe God had really been showing me that He wanted me to go back on Track before things get to the most critical point. Blog Readers hope to hear from how you all think!

This past week has been a long week despite how it was only 4 days of classes. Well this week is also goign to be 4 days of classes because on Thursday it is going to be Service Day. In fact that day is my Birthday and I will be in the world for 20 years already. Time surely does fly by fast. I always remember what my mom's dad had told my parents the day they were married that the next 40 years or so would fly by fast. At that time my parents laughed but he surely was telling the truth! I have been thinking of a lot of things recently and even some things I don't want to think about. I often think that oh man this year is coming to an end. Freshman Year surely did go by fast. I encountered a lot and course I changed probably for the better. I think that there really is a whole lot more in life than I thought there was. The 2nd Semester seems to be a lot tougher than the 1st Semester. The expectations are a lot more than before. It shows here that I should really improve more. Of course, I think that all majors really do have lots of differences in the schedules.

The weekend was a great weekend. I finally got time to take off to rest after a long week. Saturday, I worked at the Track Meet in which I am going to get paid. I helped with the Long Jump in which I measured the distance of the jumpers. They were basically going to run and jump into the sand where they would land. It was just hot out there for quite a long while. Worst off I didn't have my sunglasses because I left it in the Men's Apartments which was a bummer. Oh well it is already past now. But the Messiah College Track Team did really well in the meet. They accomplished the bunches of events that they needed to compete in. I worked over at the Long Jump for the Men and Women and measured where they landed. One of my friends Jayson Chu jumped a long one and made it pretty far. He was even on the Top 10. Other guys on my floor like Fred, Trevor, and Stock had did the throwing and according to what I heard they did a very good job on it. The rest of the day went well as I stayed there till 5 pm to show tons of support. This is the first Track Meet I've been to since High School. Later that same night there was a Men's Soccer Game and they beat the crap out of Bucknell University 3-1. That was a great way to end the long day. It got me exhausted but it was worth it.

Dang Its really been a long while since I've updated this Blog. I haven't updated it ever since I was home for Spring Break. Due to the fact I've been busy I needed to take sometime off from lots of things. Well to recap the past month Spring Break was great. It was good to see family but sadly I didn't get to see too many of my friends I really wanted to see. But it was also good to go back to Parsippany High School to visit. I was able to see some people I haven't seen in a while such as Ms. Yost and the Maxwell Twins who were at the Softball Field. It was a great visit as I was happy to be back. This was the 4th visit since Graduation. But other than that I've been on PHS Campus a couple of times since then. The school still looks the same as it did before on the outside. It brought back memories as usual. This might be my last visit in a very long time as I might not have the time to visit. But that Saturday to conclude my Spring Break I went to Rockaway Mall which is "My Meat" and finally saw it all again. As usual people from Hopatcong, Stanhope, Sparta, and Jefferson Twp go there. But it feels good when I see Parsippany people go. Parsippany Support Man! The day after that I had to go back to school and therefore said goodbye to my family and took the train back to school where I reunited with friends. It was bittersweet coming back again as I still miss home here and there sometimes.

The past few weeks were just Studying, Writing, Practicing Instruments, Working, and Riding my bike. I am so glad that my friends gave me their bikes to ride around campus especially since Climenhaga is so far away. It takes a while to get there sometimes. But I am not always doing well at school. I want to get my grades up and I toned down Social Life and made Sacrifices. Now I am just worried about my future for real. But the comforting thing was that I went to church this morning and the Pastor Preached a Sermon and showed a verse that hit me. "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." -Jeremiah 29:11. I guess I'll have to be sincere and leave it all up to God. I haven't really been doing well recently and was still upset over stupid things sometimes. I found out that I missed my dad so much recently because the 25th of March was 7 months since Move-In Day at College. Well I just hope that God provides and does some kind of a miracle that can help me survive.

So far Spring Break has really been a quiet one for me. Well kind of. I have been coughing for quite a while and wish it could just stop. It is very bothersome if you look at it and just gets on my nerves. I don't really think of getting out to hang out with too many people till this coughing stops. Well anyways, it has been busy as I have gone out running errands and helping my family out around and about. I wish that things could get lighter so I could go out to hang with friends. I have drove my car over the places here and there at least which is a good thing :)! I just still haven't got the chance to do some things yet due to my busy times. Worst off, earlier today while my brother was driving home from school the car's brakes suddenly broke and what really sucks up a lot is that we had to only use one car which made me so tired after running errands. I guess I won't really have any plans for tonight. Except I've been spending a lot of time with my family. I went out to eat with the family yesterday for dinner and got on some things. Now I just plan to do more things with my mom such as taking her to places she needs to go to and accomplishing some things with her. I hope that this car gets fixed as soon as possible. I plan to drive it someplace and hopefully put more miles on it. Ever since we got it from our cousin, altogether we have put 17k Miles on it from July 2010 till Present Day. But honestly out of all that I probably drove about 15K which is quite a lot. Lets hope the car goes on to be at its greatest condition like it was when we first got it.

Wow it really has been a long time since I've updated it. I can't believe I halted it for such a long time! But yes so many things have been going on around here at Messiah College. Friday, we had a Concert at Hostteter Chapel in which we played Mahler. Though sadly it wasn't able to crowd up the entire Chapel it was overall a good time. I still wish we had a ton of people come to watch. Sometimes even wishing my father was still here and therefore him and my mother would've travelled over here to watch. I could've even taken Saturday off from work just to hang out.

College Loads of Work are just busy like what I would sometimes called hell. But I am doing okay on just about all my classes. For Created and Called for Community I for some reason always get 80's on just about everything. I even passed Exam 1 with an 80%! Oh Yeah Lol! Well if only I could do well and hopefully get a B+ in the end I would be so relieved. Music Theory is something that definitely needs work. A ton of my classes so far are 2-3 Credit Classes in which they are the difficult and challenging classes. I would definitely have to say that Fundamentals of Oral Communication is a challenging class like Created and Called for Community. I should definitely do what my dad would always did. He would shoot for high grades at all times.

Also, just recently the weather around here has been very strange. It rained and poured like crazy hard on Friday but then the next days have either been warm or cold. But the good thing is I get to my classes with a bike still and ride in the cold no matter what. I even rode my bike in my suit after the Concert past Friday while still wearing my Jacket. Man, I do want to keep myself healthy and should try to find some times to exercise. But with so much exams and studying I should do it makes it difficult. Hopefully during Spring Break I can find a time to go and run. But right now what I also need to do is find a ride to Amtrak Station so I can board my train by 1 pm. Need to get on a ton of things!

The days seem to be going by really fast and it seems as though there will be more going on. There was Chapel today and I had gone in for a great 45 minutes. 8 am classes are just really tough as I have to wake up very early. The least I get for breakfast is just a bagel with cream cheese or butter. I am usually tired in the mornings because of waking up early. But it seems as though it is really worth it. I have been doing well on the pop quizzes I had this morning. I scored 80 on both in the classes which is a good start. I hope I can score that for the Music Theory Exam which is going to be happening in about 2 weeks or so which will be Presidents Day. Have a good start in Music Theory and hopefully end up with a B or a great grade which is definitely needed. I do hope to shoot for A's and A-'s on some classes.

Today I was not feeling too well as I had a lack of sleep last night because I made a bad choice to stay up late. I was very tired and had a headache during class but was luckily let out by 2 pm. I rode my friends bike back to the dorm and when trying to swerve to avoid hitting a girl who was taking her jolly old time going up the hill I fell off the bike. The bike also fell on top of my left foot which was painful as I had also landed on my arm which still currently hurts. After that I went to sleep a bit to cure my headache and went on to meet with my RD about some things for the Semester. Then, I went off to exercise by riding my bike around campus and later on I went to visit my friend's mom. It was a great visit overall because we got to talk a bit. Later, I went to get the best dinner I ever had first time in a long time in which I had 2 plates of food and ate with my friend Danny Thompson who kept me company for a good while. Now I feel a lot better but I will be going to sleep soon as I want to get up early to practice my instrument tomorrow morning as I really need a lot more practicing. It should be a lot better than before.

Another chilly day! Whew Thank God Its Friday! First week of Spring Semester Classes have been done. I feel I have been doing quite well. I just have much work to be done during the weekend. But I do have some plans for tonight and tomorrow. I am planning to go to Harrisburg tonight for the sake of going off campus at least once. Despite how I have to work so much every weekend now its time to learn how to do time management. Among all that is that I have to keep myself organized. I should really clean up my side of the room and throw out a ton of unneccessary garbage that I don't really need. Then I will be working at Lottie Dining Hall for 5 hours every weekend basically from about 4 to Closing Time which is around 9. This should be a good one since I am the Line Server and Runner which means I will either be serving Food to others or putting in new dishes everytime one runs out. Should be really fun no joke.

This Semester I will be switching churches. I feel that I just want to focus on God more and not go to a church where I just don't always feel too uncomfortable. I have checked out a few churches here and there. It in fact is really tough to find a church. As my friends would say "There is no way you'll ever find a Perfect Church." I sure do agree on that. There isn't going to be a perfect church. It is just going to be that way. I will have to try to find a church where I feel that I like in my own sense. Some of the churches I have checked out around here include Cumberland Valley Church, Mechanicsburg Church of the Brethren, Grantham Church, West Shore Evangelical Free Church, Christian Life Assembly, and of course Christ Community Church. Some Sundays I just didn't have the mood to even go to church. I slowly go back but just don't feel that there is somewhere I am comfortable. Maybe I will go to another church that is nearby the campus. Often times I look for a church with an earlier service due to the fact I have to work at Lottie during the afternoon from 4 to Closing. I just hope this church makes me feel a bit more comfortable that way I can try to get closer to God and feel that there is some way I can go back. Though its not going to be a Perfect one I think I will still go to that.

The weather is so nice outside today. It is like 63 degrees Fahrenheit! Whew! I have been riding my bike around campus and i am just enjoying the breeze. In fact it is Jacob Reisler's bike but he's nice enough to let me borrow it. But I should practice my instruments more. Maybe practice Viola out in the hot good old weather. I think I should practice tomorrow afternoon outside in the good old weather for a couple hours. Maybe it could be a good one. Lets just hope it gets to be 63 degrees tomorrow and Friday and even during the Weekend. Then I could probably stand outside and practice. This time I'll just have my head turned towards the sidewalk where everyone is walking down to the practice fields to practice. I miss all the times I could stand out there. I even realized that I don't need to sleep up to like 9 hours as it isn't always too cold. On wintery days I sleep up to about 9 hours but warm days I sleep up to 8. Weirdly done but its all good. I wonder what is up with the global warming. Better not be anything bad.

Classes have been so good these days. I am able to take a good amount of credits so that I can make up for a ton of stuff that happened last semester. I should be able to do well if I try harder in all my classes. I was also able to switch my schedule a bit so that i could have my CCC Class can be earlier so instead of having it from 2:05 to 3:35 I have it from 12:25 to 1:55 so I can get out of class by 2. Not like last year where I had Percussion Class and I had to get out of Class by 4 every Tuesday and Thursday. But this Spring Semester from Monday to Friday I always get out of Class by 2. I also made it into Men's Ensemble even though I have a low Voice. It is a good thing due to the fact that I can participate in more Music Department Activities. Lets hope that this Semester goes well and nothing serious happens. No drama and nothing lol. Hope everyone enjoys this great day and the rest of the Semester! Always wish the best for myself and everyone here!

J-Term is just going by quick. Six days left until it all ends. But other than that theres a lot going on. The thing is there's political battles my roommate keeps on watching. One person that really keeps on getting at me is Gingrich. He surprisingly has 2 ex wives. But I just don't think that people should vote for him to be the President. It seems pretty weird as to how he has done some stupid Family activities. I mean stay to ONE wife and be devoted to HER!

Also, another big news is when the Cruise Ship in Italy has tipped over and there are people who have died in that disaster. Weirdly put the Captain is responsible and is going to be in for questioning. I hope the best of luck for him. It seems as though so many things are just happening all over the place. Even crashes of planes and other transportations which kill people here and there.

J-Term, Twitter, and Facebook

There has been so much going on. J-Term in fact does seem very intense as there are papers every night. We also have to read books every night too. I can't somehow wait till J-Term ends. There is just so much going on here and there. Also, I deactivated my Facebook and made a Twitter which is really fun from my point of view. It is similar to Facebook but to me not too addicting. However some people say that you should be careful with what you write on Facebook and Twitter as it could get you into trouble sometimes. I do wish to keep my Twitter as it is fun. On Twitter I basically Follow all my friends and Tweet them sometimes. Earlier today and even yesterday I have been Tweeting so much and it seems as though I have such a fun time.

I often wonder what Facebook is like now and what is going on with people's activities on Facebook sometimes. Obviously Facebook is addicting too. It just seems as though sometimes I can't always control myself that now I had to deactivate it probably till the end of J-Term. I should try to control myself on Facebook more and try managing my time some more.  Maybe I could just try to not sleep so much and get work done earlier so I can have more time to relax. I somehow can't wait till J-Term ends as I am just controlling myself by a lot to wait till the end of this Term to Reactivate my Facebook. As I look at the Calendar now, it ends in about a week and like what some friends of mine said it will go by fast :)! Lets hope it does as soon as possible.

New Semester New Life

It has been exactly one week since I've came back to Messiah College. A New Semester has begun. Right now J-Term and the next thing you know Spring Term which will be happening in about 2-3 weeks from now. So in retrospect to my last posts I realized how much family and true friends are important to me now. Yes it kind of does suck that I saw some people I didn't want to see but then can't see my true friends who have come and gone already. Now I do know who really matters the most. My family and my old HS friends and new College friends. My father has left behind a Legacy in which I follow and treasure. There certainly had been times in which we had our fights and struggles. Sometimes unfairness here and there which has helped me get stronger and change a lot for the better. Now back here I decide I do want to start the New Semester all Fresh and Brand New. Forget about a bunch of crap that happened last Semester. I rather just forget and make it feel that half the things didn't happen and move on with my life. There is always a way out and I know I should be able to do a lot better this Semester. All I have to do is manage time well, make right choices, and self control myself. I will be taking a ton of classes with lots of credits and with lessons learned from the First Semester I should be able to do a lot better.

Whew its already 2012. I am surprised that life surely is going by fast. I have been  reflecting back to the year 2011. It was like one of my good years despite how I certainly had my struggles as I often do. But yes Life is going by fast and before I know I'll probably be somewhere. I have been thinking of thoughts in 2011, how hard it was in some ways and how I pulled through. Top 10 thoughts of 2011 I have been thinking about...
1. I applied for Colleges and got into all except for one. I had to choose between Rowan University and Messiah College and obviously chose Messiah College. No one should tell me to transfer out!

2. I auditioned for many schools in which it caused me to travel every so often in which all were pleasant travels.

3. Travelling down to Florida or Disney World in which our bands played and performed for others here and there. Best part was when the Marching Band marched down Main Street in Magic Kingdom which was a great experience.

4. Powderpuff and Prom/Prom Weekeend. I had a blast at those. Hanging out and spending last times with my High School friends whom I seldom see anymore leaves behind a lot of good memories.

5. Graduating High School. I felt happy when I finally graduated because it was good to move on. I had spent 5 years and pulled through in which I accomplished and go to go to College and it shows I am smart and faced all my fears.

6. Moving into Messiah College for good. It surely was a bittersweet moment for me as I had to move in and leave my home. I do miss my hometown and sometimes wished summer had gone by a bit slower. But it was good to make new friends and begin a new life despite how I had a rough start with poison ivy and such.

7. Losing my Father. It was the worst thing that ever happened in my life. Never did anyone ever expect this crap to happen. It was just so unexpected and none of us has really recovered from it till this day.

8. Going to Rockaway Mall a ton in fact 9 times. It is in fact my MEAT which is my Favorite Mall. The Best One in Morris County more towards the west. I have an aunt and uncle that lives nearby so its pretty convenient. I was there Thanksgiving and Black Friday :)!

9. My 19th Birthday/Easter Sunday. I turned 19 and 5 days later I reunited with my good friend from UConn which was the Best Easter Sunday Ever!

10. Christmas/New Years Eve. It was very different this Christmas but I had a good time. I also reunited with a ton of my old High School Friends durinng New Years Eve after not seeing them since Graduation Day or July. Good Times Lol!