June has gone by fast. I was able to get through the rough week with a whole lot of things going on. Other than the car being gone I was fixing up stuff around the house. I had been spending more time doing some things that I haven't really been doing. I read a book and even read the Bible first time in a long time. I often feel that I want to get back into the Christian Life because I still go in and out with that here and there and even now. I struggle with my faith in God sometimes and sure do wish to get back on track.

I read a book called Victory Over The Darkness and it sure does have a lot of things that I can think of in my life. I honestly read a few parts that surprisingly relate to what I go through in my life. Thank God for this slow week that I was able to try to get my head together and focus more on Him instead of my own things. I don't know what my summer will look like but I hope that things get in place for real. I have my struggles still in not being able to get over the past. Now I just read through Bible passages and try to look to the future. Sometimes I think that it might even be time for me to grow up as soon as possible. It is better to try to grow up now than just be a bum. I also gotta try to find a job so that I can try to have something to do. I sometimes wish that last summer was better but I don't know what I can do anymore with my things. Oh well time to keep moving on with life.

Happy Birthday to my Mother! Wow you've really gone through a lot this year but I am glad you and I both made it through. This year had involved lots of cars that life had threw at us. From Me going to College and being away from home, Funerals, Classes, Grades, and many more Challenges. Yet you decided you were going to face it no matter what. I Love you for being patient, loving, and caring all the time for all of the family. It was great hanging out with you today. Despite how it was different this year I will still keep this in memory.

Sometimes I wonder what it will be like for me in the future. I think of myself and whoever I am going to marry to being parents of children. It is surely a lot of responsibility but I sure am willing to take it all no matter the cause. I know that even if life throws a ton of things at us we won't walk out of the relationship at all. It will not be an option as we should face challenges. Even if a screwover like the school psychologist guy comes back and tries to ruin us that will Not affect us at all. Life will always have challenges and throw a ton of unwanted things at us that we will need to face. Running away is always the worst option because it shows you will never get things done. A responsible person would face it all. A devoted person would be loving and caring. That's what I have learned a lot these past few years. Hope I can be that person one day in a few years from now.

Lots of times it is better to not dwell on the past. Like what people have told me "If you keep dwelling on the past it will just torture you for the rest of your life!" Times have been like that and I will have to try to move on. I think of when I was being really considerate to the family this past weekend. We had chose to get rid of my car instead of my dad's old car. We had really reasonable reasons to get rid of mine as it was also old and beat up at 99k miles. I really wanted to tear when I saw it go out of our driveway. I had thought of all the good times I had with it no matter what. Like driving it through the good old streets of Lk. Hiawatha, to Parsippany High School, and even to Prom Weekend which was an awesome time. Oh well like what it is it must come and go as life moves on. I hope I can make new memories in the new car I drive. That would surely be amazing after all like what people say!

So to lose something and to gain something. Yesterday my life changed for the good and bad for me. I had to do the unexpected and as usual unexpected things happen in everyone's life which is always a challenge. We ended up selling my Toyota Camry yesterday and it was gone for good. But it was for the good for my family. Like what people had said I am just too attached to it. Chris Ottesen had stated "Sam, I barely even remember the last thing I did with my beatup car. It blew up on me and such in the end and I got rid of that. Think of the good memories and don't focus on the bad ones. You had good memories in that car and you'll have more new memories in your next cars." I started to think maybe I have to stop dwelling on the past so much and life just keeps on going on no matter what happens. I wish I could have done this, I wish I could have done that... All are just thoughts of regrets and which I learned could drive people crazily insane.

It is terribly hard for me at first because I had drove the car for about 2 years but now it is about time that I have to move on. I had chose to do a few things I didn't want to do which was caring for the family. I chose to give in and agree to sell the car because it was all in case of anything that could happen later on. It sucks for me but oh well. Now I'll just be driving my mother's car which is a good thing because I still have a car that I can drive. I think of the car a lot alongside some junky. Its not so great of a thought and I've really been in some emotional stress. The least I could do is read God's Word which I haven't in a long while. I am not sure how things will work out but I'll just have to rely on God a whole lot more then just handling things myself. How else will I be able to do it now? If anyone is reading this please keep me in your prayers and pray that I can get through tons of emotional stresses and I will pray for myself as well.

Summer Session sure is coming to an end. But first off I want to say that June was great despite some ups and downs. I had a fun filled weekend reuniting and catching up with friends that I seldom see no more. Saturday Night was the Michael Ryan Cofone Benefit Show in which I was there. It was a night of fun but so much craziness that happened. But overall it was a blast and I had a great time there listening and watching crazy bands perform and watching the crowd go wild. Even though most people there had graduated from Parsippany High School in the many years before me I didn't seem to care too much about it. Michael Cofone was a graduate of Parsippany High School in 2005 and passed away a few months ago this year. I had met him just once in Lk. Hiawatha. Even after that I saw him driving someplace in town too. Surprisingly lots of people knew him and more and more had crowded up Elks Lodge in Boonton which was quite a good amount as most of that crowd attended his Funeral Service. I can't believe they had crowded up in the same exact place where my Father's wake was held. Must have been lots of people who loved Mike a lot even though he was so much older than most of us.

The Benefit Show taught all of us lessons. But at the same time My heart ached for his family and his friends as they had gone through a loss of a truly loved one. It was sudden like how it was for my father who had suddenly passed away back in November. This is something that my family has still not recovered from even though Father's Day and Holidays have all passed by. Losing someone so young is a really big thing on everyone especially if you were close to them. One song that hit me at the show was Corey's song which was dedicated to Mike. The words that hit me is here, "but instead that's what he did he sat us down our feet on the ground i'll listen now, i'll slow down" Surely teaches all of us in town something that we will get for the rest of our lives even though its not easy that a close one had passed away. I know that I would be there for people if they had lost a loved one or a close friend as it had happened to me which still hurts me every here and there. Rest In Peace to my good Dad and Mike Cofone. Hope all is going well up there in Heaven as it is much better up there than down here :).

Wow one month surely flew by fast. A month ago I was at Messiah and now Summer Classes for Math is halfway done! Time sure does fly by fast. But worst off my car is broken and is now sitting at the repair shop which is really annoying for me because I am carless for the weekend. But oh well, I guess I'll do whatever I want to do. I have more than enough I need to do which includes studying for Math Exams which could help me out a lot. As the class goes on it all gets tougher.

Summer has been going quite well and had its ups and downs here and there. Last week Friday Night I finally reunited with some old friends I haven't seen in literally 2 years. Its all because we had been moving on with our lives after High School and working so hard that we generally lost touch. But it was surely great to get together with them all again. I had basically been really friendly with the majority of them even though we were all over the place. I am about 3-1/2 hours away from town which makes it difficult to be in touch with people all the time. Especially since I keep on deactivating Facebook in order to concentrate on my work. I might need to do that when the school year starts.

As people tell me I will eventually lose contact with the High School Friends. It is tough for me to understand now since its only been a year since I graduated from High School. Someitmes people tell me that you go to College and make new friends and then you forget your old ones. That is not something that I would believe in. I believe that you keep those memories inside of you no matter what and the ones whom You care about and the ones that Actually care about You are the ones you keep in contact with. I hope that this Summer I can reunite with a lot more friends that I seldom see anymore. Many events will hopefully happen this summer in where there can be reunions or I should go to some awesome concerts. Hope things can actually happen this summer :)!