So much in this summer going on. I am living back here at home and feeling like wow its still the same. I have been doing so much Math and what really annoys me is that I don't really see people I just want to see. Man I always have such a bad feeling about this summer. Last summer was when our town had started to get really beat and there wasn't much to do. I just hope there will be more to do this summer. Sometimes I feel like some people I just don't want to see at all are walking back into my life. I don't understand why. It might make things bad for myself. Oh well I'll just have to brace myself for anything.

I have been trying to keep myself busy as heck even though it feels like there is still school for me. Well its easy going since its only 2 hours a day and I get to have class only 4 days a week. I hope that I do well and hopefully when the grade transfers I get a higher GPA then what it is right now. Life will keep going on and on. I really just want to start a bit more of summer already. What sucks up is that its taking a long while. But my most favorite place now is probably the Mall where I hope I can get that job. There has to be something for me to do this summer and I am hoping there will be more.

As much as I keep thinking of life moving on forward, something has been coming in my mind. I have the thought that this summer may be one of the last summers I see my PHS '11ers. I sure had a lot of good times with them and I am sure a majority of the friends I have among that crowd will be able to come to my wedding in the near future. And No I will not separate from them as much as people tell me to. I just think its better that I make my own choices and hang out with them as much as I can. I do feel they came into my life for a good reason and as a result I don't want them to leave just yet. That one group I was with was like family to me. Despite how it is just a bummer that were all spread out I don't want to lose family. I sure do know that I still want to keep friends even though I want to have some relationship with someone. It is always a good choice as taught to divide time well between your friends and the soulmate. I hope that I can do well with that as time goes by.

So my Summer has been quite a bit productive somehow boring here and there. I just need to find some stuff to do. I have been going to my Local Community College to take a Math Class there so I won't have to take it at my College. Hopefully the Credits transferred over can give me a boost in my low GPA. I sure do need it to raise to a 3.0 otherwise it won't be good. I have been stressing out about how I have really low grades. Worst off not qualifying for Teacher Education Program which kind of makes me have to change some roads. I have to hopefully get my life together in some ways aside from education. My plan will be work harder and hit a 3.0 by the end of Fall 2012 Semester and later on get this GPA to keep on raising higher and higher. I know that if people can get there GPA's to be a 3.5 or 3.6 improving from a low 3.0 then I CAN DO IT! Just need to try harder.

I've gone off to the Gym recently to workout and start exercising for the good of myself. Hopefully I will be able to start my weight loss from 158 lbs back down to where I was in January before I started the whole weight gaining. It isn't always a good feeling to be so fat at all. Life here at home has been quite well having ups and downs. I still feel like I live a bit of the same life coming back home like it was in the years I was here at home. Town being Shady and often staying at my house and not going out too much. But this Memorial Day Weekend I shall be going out more. If I could go out then I could feel so free again like I was before. It is just annoying being at home all day everyday. Jobs seem to be hard to find too especially since they don't always reply back to you. I've turned applications into a couple of places though but anyways anywhere I get accepted I will go. I rather just get out a bit more and hang out. Maybe I'll be able to see more friends of mine later.

Wow, Freshman Year here at College sure is over already. Today was my last Final. I don't know how I did but whatever it is I might just leave it all up to God. I don't know what my life will be like after this. I might just be paranoid about things but that is what I am like sometimes. I have put a ton of stresses on myself and its not really a good thing. I noticed recently about how it really affects me and my health and sometimes I keep thinking I might die. Its really not a good thing because of how sometimes people do things last minute and thats what I actually do. I hope that I can pass Music Theory for good.

Today was a bittersweet hot day. I had been around and saw many people leave to go back home. Many had checked out and they have left but I am still here. Lottie seemed pretty empty too due to the fact that there weren't too many people no more. But the day was still good. I rode my bike all the way from Messiah to Weis Supermarkets to buy some things. I made a lousy first trip there because I rode there without any money on me. Therefore, I had to turn back and ride all the way to Messiah again and that would wear me out quite a bit. But it was overall one of the good rides I had though. I got to bike all the way back and bought treats one for a friend who let me use his bike all Semester Long and another friend whos helped me out all year long even in Music Theory. It was a challenging year but I am glad it is coming to an end. It feels like its quite empty tonight with so many people gone and moved out. It sure is a beat night and will kind of be till the end of the year. I can't wait to go home now but I am worried about my grades. Lets pray it all works out well in the end.